The Day I Stopped Waiting for Someone Else to Choose Me

Hey Sis,

Can I ask you something?

Have you ever felt like you're running in a hundred different directions, trying to keep everyone else's world together, only to realize you've completely lost sight of your own?

I know that feeling.

For years, my life revolved around everyone else.

My children needed me.

My husband needed me.

My career needed me.

There were lunches to pack, practices to attend, deadlines to meet, emails to answer, and one more project that might finally earn me the promotion I'd been working so hard for.

I became the woman who was always available.

Always dependable.

Always saying yes.

I convinced myself that if I made sure everyone else had what they needed, eventually I'd receive what I needed too.

Recognition.

Fulfillment.

Purpose.

Peace.

So I worked harder.

I attended leadership workshops.

I earned certifications.

I stayed late at work because I didn't want to miss an opportunity.

I poured into everyone around me.

But somewhere along the way...

I disappeared.

One day I realized something that shook me.

I had spent years becoming everything everyone else needed me to be, but I had never stopped to ask:

Who is Jacki?

Not the employee.

Not the wife.

Not the mom.

Not the friend.

Just...me.

What did I want?

What was God calling me to do?

Who was I becoming?

I honestly didn't know.

And that realization hurt.

Looking in All the Wrong Places

Like so many women, I believed the answers were somewhere outside of me.

Maybe another promotion.

Another accomplishment.

Another certification.

Another compliment.

Another person noticing my hard work.

I kept waiting for someone else to choose me.

To validate me.

To tell me I was enough.

But here's what I eventually discovered:

Everything I was searching for wasn't out there.

It was already within me.

Scripture reminds us that God's Spirit dwells within us. I realized I had spent years searching everywhere except the one place where He had been patiently waiting for me all along.

The answers I was looking for weren't hiding in someone else's approval.

They were found in His presence.

The Work Began With Me

My journey didn't change overnight.

It started with one decision.

I opened my Bible again.

Not because I had all the answers.

Not because my faith was perfect.

Honestly, there were days I wasn't ready to hear what God wanted to teach me.

But I knew I had to begin somewhere.

So I did.

At the same time, I started taking care of my body.

I began running.

I discovered barre.

I added strength training.

What surprised me wasn't just that my body became stronger.

It was what happened during those quiet moments.

There were no distractions.

No emails.

No meetings.

No one asking for anything.

Just me.

My thoughts.

And God.

Those workouts became more than exercise.

They became sacred spaces where I learned to listen.

Where I prayed.

Where I cried.

Where I healed.

Where I remembered who I was.

Caring for the Temple I Was Given

As I grew physically stronger, I knew I couldn't stop there.

I began changing the way I ate—not to chase a number on the scale, but to nourish the body God had entrusted to me.

I wanted my body to have the energy to fulfill the purpose He had placed on my life.

As my nutrition improved, something unexpected happened.

I slept better.

My mind became calmer.

My energy increased.

And confidence slowly began to replace insecurity.

That's when I learned something I'll never forget.

Confidence isn't something you're born with.

It's something you build.

Every healthy choice.

Every courageous conversation.

Every workout.

Every boundary.

Every act of obedience.

Every small step tells you, "I can trust myself."

Confidence grows because you keep showing up.

Becoming Self-ish in the Best Way

People sometimes hear me talk about prioritizing yourself and wonder if it's selfish.

Maybe it is.

But perhaps we've misunderstood what being "self-ish" really means.

To me, being self-ish isn't about putting yourself above everyone else.

It's about becoming the healthiest version of yourself so you have more to give.

Today, I don't measure my worth by how many calories I burn.

How many miles I run.

How much weight I lift.

Or whether I'm smarter or more successful than someone else.

I'm not competing with anyone.

My only comparison is the woman I was yesterday.

Every day, I simply ask:

"Am I becoming more of the woman God created me to be?"

Because when I become healthier...

I become a better wife.

A better friend.

A better coach.

A better leader.

A better business owner.

A better member of my community.

The work I do on myself doesn't take away from others.

It allows me to serve them from a place of strength instead of exhaustion.

It All Started With One Year

Several years ago, my pastor shared a challenge that changed my life.

He said,

"Go all in for one year in your faith, and you won't even recognize yourself."

I decided to take him at his word.

I opened my Bible.

I committed to movement.

I nourished my body.

I stepped outside my comfort zone.

I surrounded myself with people who challenged me to grow.

I changed the books I read, the music I listened to, and the voices I allowed to influence my life.

One small decision led to another.

And little by little...

God transformed me from the inside out.

Not because I became perfect.

But because I became willing.

Hey Sis...

If you're exhausted from trying to earn your worth...

If you've spent years taking care of everyone else while forgetting yourself...

If you're waiting for someone to notice you, promote you, validate you, or finally tell you that you're enough...

Can I lovingly tell you something?

Stop waiting.

The woman you're searching for has been there all along.

Start with one small step.

Open your Bible.

Take a walk.

Prepare one nourishing meal.

Sit in silence.

Pray.

Journal.

Move your body.

Listen.

Because the journey to becoming your healthiest, strongest, most vibrant self doesn't begin when someone else chooses you.

It begins the moment you choose to believe that God already has.

And maybe...

Just maybe...

This is your moment to stop waiting and start becoming.

With gratitude,

🤍 Coach Jacki